Postive Parenting

Last year, Sunny was 18 months and really started testing her limits as well as mine. Being out of the teaching groove, I had forgotten what I had learned in my classes. I began to read up and enforce some of those things.

A principal asked me to make a video detailing my philosophy of education. It works with parenting just as much as it does for teaching students.  Even if you are not a teacher and have children from 1-18, the tips I share really are useful. My video which can be copied and pasted is:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hVIvwSA9wbU

I do realize everyone has their own philosophy of education or parenting, and that is fine, but you can never go wrong with positive reinforcement or a consistant reward system,whether you are teaching toddlers at home how to behave, or are a teacher of many students, or just want to know how to effectively parent.

Sometimes when I am out and about, I will see that well behaved two or three year old. Just sitting there perfectly.  Geez, why not my kid!

My kid has never sat in sacrament or really anywhere for that matter, not with a lot of work and effort on her parent's part, that is. She is stubborn and knows what she wants and how to get it. Often, that creates a scene, so our only choice is to take her out. That is exactly what she wants. She knows how to work the system, believe it or not.

For a long time I was lazy. I stopped reading books and forgot all my education class principals, and just started letting Sunny control most situations.

Big mistake!

I made a ton of wrong parenting choices and now I need to correct most of them to get her on that right path again.

At church, for instance, we don't hang in the hall anymore when she creates a scene in Sacrament meeting.

 I realize now  that by stepping out of sacrament and into the hall, opens a social avenue where she will try to initiate play with some other kid, and often run off. So now, we go into some small isolated room.

 She is that child who throws up when she cries too long or gets too upset.  My sister had a kid like that too.  Discipline is a tough one for these kids that throw up.

like I said above, I made this youtube video awhile back sharing my philosophy of education. This philosophy emphasizes the use of positive reinforcement to correct not so great behavior.

Here is what I have used on Sunny that has had some effect, that also worked on my past students.

She is not easy to reason with. She is very intelligent, but she doesn't like to be scolded and will often talk over one of us or begin to cry.

So, I decided to pass on the reasoning for now and use a consistant reward system as a way to get her to cooperate.  For instance, changing into her pajamas at night. She is often un-cooperative and will not change out of her day clothes.  Offering her 1 candy for cooperating and changing her clothes, is enough of a reward for her to do it. I try to use that whisper of a voice, be calm and talk with firmness, yet love.

Sometimes I get impatient in my voice and the sponge in her absorbs that.  Not a good idea at all.

I don't like to offer tons of candy, so I try to use stickers and other rewards as an incentive to motivate her to do what she is asked.

It works most of the time at home.  It kindof works elsewhere. I am working on more strategies at the moment.

So, as much as Sunny is cute and I love her dearly, she is a defiant little thing.  Whatever I want, she wants opposite. Typical for an almost three year old, I don't know.

I used to wonder why so many parents never disciplined their kids. Now I know. It's exhausting. I  get it. But using a consistent reward system, along with positive reinforcement has shown in studies to work almost 100% of the time. Consistency is key and something that always has room for improvement.

Here's to well behaved children.  I hope.