Postive Parenting

Last year, Sunny was 18 months and really started testing her limits as well as mine. Being out of the teaching groove, I had forgotten what I had learned in my classes. I began to read up and enforce some of those things.

A principal asked me to make a video detailing my philosophy of education. It works with parenting just as much as it does for teaching students.  Even if you are not a teacher and have children from 1-18, the tips I share really are useful. My video which can be copied and pasted is:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hVIvwSA9wbU

I do realize everyone has their own philosophy of education or parenting, and that is fine, but you can never go wrong with positive reinforcement or a consistant reward system,whether you are teaching toddlers at home how to behave, or are a teacher of many students, or just want to know how to effectively parent.

Sometimes when I am out and about, I will see that well behaved two or three year old. Just sitting there perfectly.  Geez, why not my kid!

My kid has never sat in sacrament or really anywhere for that matter, not with a lot of work and effort on her parent's part, that is. She is stubborn and knows what she wants and how to get it. Often, that creates a scene, so our only choice is to take her out. That is exactly what she wants. She knows how to work the system, believe it or not.

For a long time I was lazy. I stopped reading books and forgot all my education class principals, and just started letting Sunny control most situations.

Big mistake!

I made a ton of wrong parenting choices and now I need to correct most of them to get her on that right path again.

At church, for instance, we don't hang in the hall anymore when she creates a scene in Sacrament meeting.

 I realize now  that by stepping out of sacrament and into the hall, opens a social avenue where she will try to initiate play with some other kid, and often run off. So now, we go into some small isolated room.

 She is that child who throws up when she cries too long or gets too upset.  My sister had a kid like that too.  Discipline is a tough one for these kids that throw up.

like I said above, I made this youtube video awhile back sharing my philosophy of education. This philosophy emphasizes the use of positive reinforcement to correct not so great behavior.

Here is what I have used on Sunny that has had some effect, that also worked on my past students.

She is not easy to reason with. She is very intelligent, but she doesn't like to be scolded and will often talk over one of us or begin to cry.

So, I decided to pass on the reasoning for now and use a consistant reward system as a way to get her to cooperate.  For instance, changing into her pajamas at night. She is often un-cooperative and will not change out of her day clothes.  Offering her 1 candy for cooperating and changing her clothes, is enough of a reward for her to do it. I try to use that whisper of a voice, be calm and talk with firmness, yet love.

Sometimes I get impatient in my voice and the sponge in her absorbs that.  Not a good idea at all.

I don't like to offer tons of candy, so I try to use stickers and other rewards as an incentive to motivate her to do what she is asked.

It works most of the time at home.  It kindof works elsewhere. I am working on more strategies at the moment.

So, as much as Sunny is cute and I love her dearly, she is a defiant little thing.  Whatever I want, she wants opposite. Typical for an almost three year old, I don't know.

I used to wonder why so many parents never disciplined their kids. Now I know. It's exhausting. I  get it. But using a consistent reward system, along with positive reinforcement has shown in studies to work almost 100% of the time. Consistency is key and something that always has room for improvement.

Here's to well behaved children.  I hope.

Egg Drop Soup

Growing up, I remember going to my favorite Chinese Restaurant, JJ Hunon located on Ancestor Square. We ate there so often, it was the best treat.  I wish the place was still there because they had the best chinese food I've ever had. I loved going to the restaurant for many reasons. The quiet music and atmosphere, the always formal dining table, a place mat that always had your horoscope, a hot tea kettle and tea cups served alongside  fried wontons w/sweet & sour sauce, egg roles and the most amazing egg drop soup that just warmed your soul. Then came my favorite main dish, which was always shrimp chow mein. So good and so inexpensive. $4.95 was a typical lunch cost. Why isn't that place still around??

With my pregnancy, I have been nauseous 24/7 everyday. I have lost quite a bit of weight because I can hardly eat. My appetite is huge, but it's very selective. I can't just eat anything like I used to and only crave certain things.  Certain things include, mac n cheese with jalepeno peppers, tacos and enchiladas, dutch oven pototoes, hashbrowns and eggs with salsa, sandwiches that always include mustard and pickles, sushi with lots of ginger, oranges, apples, and most fruit, sour gummi candy, and this egg drop soup. 
The problem is, sometimes when I give into my cravings, I regret it and feel even more sick. I can't go wrong with this soup though. 

I can't eat hardly any veggies or smell them for that matter. A few veggies like carrots, lettuce, cauliflower, being the exception. I can't stand chocolate right now, isn't that crazy?

Anyway, that hormones for ya. They do funny things.  Here is the recipe to this soup. It is perfect for upset stomachs, sore throats, you name it.

You’ll need:

• 4 cups chicken stock 
• 1 tsp. low sodium tamari or soy sauce
• 1/2 tsp. powdered ginger
• Pinch white pepper
• 1 1/2 T. cornstarch
• 4 eggs, slightly beaten
• 1 scallion, chopped 
• 1 tsp. garlic powder
• 1 T. finely grated carrot

Boil chicken stock. Add spices and tamari sauce, carrot and half the scallion,chopped. Take 1 c. hot broth and pour into cup. Add the cornstarch and whisk until combined. Add back to soup. Allow to simmer for about 5 min. Add 4 beaten eggs to soup and stir. Eat immediately. Top with more fresh scallion. I like to add a few chopped cucumber as well. Serve alongside saltine crackers if you prefer.

source: recipe adapted from thewoksoflife.com

Big Sister News

I am Finally getting around to sharing! We are so blessed excited. I'm not sure by Sunny's face if she is or not.

She loves kids and really needs a sibling. I will be posting more pregnancy updates along the way.

Cauliflower Fried Rice

In addition to the cauliflower cheesy bake I just posted, this is another fabulous meal that can be a side dish or a main dish. If making for Valentine's Day, this could always be a side dish alongside something more fancier, like ribs or steak.

This meal is packed with flavor. You can either pulse the florets or buy cauliflower already pulsed up at stores like Walmart. It is found in the produce section next to the bagged veggies at the end. They run out fast so get yours early in the morning.

Cauliflower Fried Rice

source: Familyfreshmeals.com

Here is what you need:

– 3 cups of grated raw cauliflower (use a food processor or buy already to go)

– 1/2 cup frozen peas

– 1/2 cup carrots, thinly sliced or cubed small

Your choice of ham, beef, tofu, or chicken.

– 3-4 garlic cloves, minced

– 1/2 cup onion, diced

– 1/2 TBSP olive oil

– 3 eggs  scrambled

– 3 TBSP soy sauce

1 T. sesame oil

salt/pepper to taste

What You'll Do:

 1. In a large pan, saute garlic and onions in olive oil on a medium/high heat, until onions become soft and transparent. (about 2-3 minutes)

2. Next add in peas, and carrots and cook until carrots begin to soften and peas are heated through, about 3-4 minutes

3. Next stir in scrambled eggs , cauliflower and  sesame oil, and soy sauce. Cook stirring frequently for about 5-7 more minutes. 

Top with chopped green scallions.

Cheesy Cauliflower Bake

I normally only post on Sunday's now, but wanted to make an exception to give my readers some Valentine meal inspiration. If you are like us and like to dine in, that is.

 It is our tradition to make a nice dinner at home, make chocolate covered strawberries, and a movie on netflix.

So anyway, today I ventured out to Target. I don't make it there a whole lot, but when I do, count on me to spend literally hours in the store.  I am addicted to that place.

For the longest time, I have wanted a cake stand. I have seen many out there, all priced well.  But, buying one has been the hardest part. I hate spending money on wants like that.

I decided today was the day I would finally buy a cake stand. This is the one I bought. So elegant.

I decided it could be versatile. I would use it on holidays as well a parties When not in use, I would decorate with it, or use it to elevate my kitchen stuff.  Or I might just buy another. ;)

To make your own cleaner, take 2 T. Organic vinager, 6-12 drops of essential oils of your choice, and distilled water. Shake and use. Smells so good. Works so good.

I love a spotless clean kitchen, but who doesn't? 

Poor Sunny. She threw up all night. 

 So onto the food. Served as a side dish with cordon bleu or steak or ribs, this is what we're having on Sunday.
It is so good! As mentioned before,, I have a dairy intolerance, so I usually do substitutions like using goat cheese, or I take enzymes.

Rodney always tries to take me out to eat, but I hate spending money. I would much rather cook something I love.

This Valentine's Day, be sure to give extra love. Remember to love yourself and be proud of yourself.  We are all here to build each other up and comfort each other through hard times.

If you are looking for a wonderful sidedish for your at home Valentine's Day meal, I highly recommend this cheesy cauliflower bake casserole. Even kids will love it.

Ingredients:

INGREDIENTS:

• 4 slices center cut bacon (I use Wegmans brand)
• 2 lbs cauliflower florets (or  one large head of cauliflower.  it had almost exactly 2 lbs of florets once cut up)
• 6 oz 1/3 less fat cream cheese, softened
• 1/2 cup fat free sour cream
• 4 oz shredded 50% reduced fat sharp cheddar cheese, divided (I used Cabot brand)
• 4 oz shredded 50% reduced fat pepper jack cheese, divided (I used Cabot brand)
• 3 scallions, chopped – greens only
• 2 garlic cloves, minced
• ¼ teaspoon salt
• Pinch of black pepper
• Pinch of crushed red pepper flakes, to taste

DIRECTIONS:

1. Pre-heat the oven to 350. Lightly mist a 2 QT baking dish (I used a 7×11) with cooking spray and set aside.
2. Cook the bacon slices until crisp according to package directions and allow them to cool/dry on paper towels. Crumble them into bite sized pieces and set aside.
3. Steam cauliflower florets until tender.
4. While the cauliflower steams, combine the softened cream cheese and sour cream with a hand mixer. Add 3 oz of the shredded cheddar and 3 oz of the shredded pepper jack, the bacon pieces from step 2, the chopped scallions, garlic, salt, pepper and red pepper flakes. Stir until well combined.
5. When the cauliflower is finished steaming, drain if necessary and add the hot cauliflower to the cream cheese mixture. Stir until well coated. If you’d like at this step you can partially mash some of the cauliflower (I did a little bit, but kept many florets whole for texture).
6. Transfer the cauliflower mixture to your reserved baking dish and top with the remaining 1 oz each of shredded cheddar and pepper jack cheeses. Bake for 30 minutes. If your cheese on top isn’t golden, turn on your broiler for 1-2 minutes until golden and bubbly.

Source: Emilybites.com

5 Positives This Month

For years, we have had the goal of living a life debt free. It tooks years of saving,  hardcore budgeting, but we finally did it!

Anyone can do it. It's not easy to say the least.

 In several conference talks, the prophet said certain debts are acceptable, such as school, home and car.

BUT.....

1. We are now 100% out of debt, excluding a home loan. We have no car loans, no credit card debt, no student loan debt, zero bills at all!  Just one home loan. We both feel so free.

It hasn't always been easy for me to manage money, but after reading up on how to save for your future, I have turned a bit frugal.  This is a good thing. I like it.

Another positive is:

2. Being a stay at home mom. I feel so grateful for this opportunity.  I didn't always feel this way. I yearned to go back to teaching when Sunny was 18 months, but after considering a huge portion of my paycheck would cover the high cost of daycare, we decided it was better I stay at home.  I realize this is something not all mother's have the privilege of doing, and I am beyond grateful.

3. A hard working husband. Rodney is so quick minded.  I still haven't found something he can't do or fix. His memory is unbelievable.  He can remember the smallest of details which is a huge bonus and why he flies through his schooling.

                       
His brilliant mind can do just about anything.  He is saving us a lot of money because he knows a lot about construction and building, and is tackling this job of building a shed like a pro.

When we moved into our home last April,  we striped our home of everything, except for bathtub, toilet and closets.  The cost of hiring a crew was thousands.  Doing it ourselves saved big time. I obviously had to learn a lot, but it made it so much more personal doing it on our own.  My only regret is doing crown molding in our living room. I was fixated on the idea of it for a long time. It was an extra expense and not really necessary when I think of it.

4. Lemons: I finally got rid of all my winter decor and put out the spring.  Decorating with fake lemons does add a degree of brightness to our home. I found this stuff at dollar store, Michaels,  a thrift store in town, and DI. The idea for this came from lemon decor ideas I just googled one day.

This one above is not my own creation, but one of the ideas I googled. I decided to recreate a similiar look. Source: unknown.

                  This is what I came up with in my                   kitchen.
                       

         This is a refreshing site. It makes me feel like I'm in a tropical resort. Maybe a cute lemonade display would be fun too.

5.  My good friend had her baby boy on Friday. After several impromptu afternoon walks during the week to speed that labor along, we realized, this baby boy had a mind of his own. He was 5 days late, but he's finally here.  And look at how adorable she is rockin' that baby bump.

We are finally getting around to checking off more goals for our house. Getting grass and trees planted will be accomplished this month. Sunny will finally have a backyard to play in.

Speaking of Sunny, she is still having red hot flare ups in her cheeks and has been saying she has tummy aches. I think it's about time she goes in for allergy tests.

Post Partum Depression- It Is A Real Thing

This is a post I wrote on Sunday, but decided to not publish. Today, two days later, I decided that I really needed to publish it and talk openly about it. I don't talk about this to anyone. The very few people I have talked about it, have really no understanding of what it's like.

Please note that this is not a pity party or a need for attention. This is something that has been happening  for over 2.5 years. I can no longer keep it to myself.

I know there are many people out there who suffer from ppd, I just haven't met them yet.

I have never considered myself a depressed person.  I have always been extremly social and always willing and up for anything. Most of my friends in college described me as one of the happiest girls they knew.

After having a baby, something went wrong with myself. Nothing was the same again.

Part of the reason I don't like to talk about Postpartum depression is because of  guilt. I longed for a baby for so long, and when I do talk openly about it, I am afraid I'm setting myself up for judgement. It's almost like people are telling me to appreciate this tiny miracle and count my blessings.

And that is exactly what I do. However, no matter how hard I try to be how I need to be, the ppd just takes over. It's hard to explain.

When I told my mother what I was feeling 18 months after Sunny was born, she told me to stop complaining and stop talking about it.

I have never mentioned it again. It really is hard for people to understand I guess.

I decided to do some research and found a huge support group online. So many other women going through it.  Some only have it the normal length of time after a baby is born, the first month or so. Less have it as long as me, over 2.5 years later.

When I found out I was finally pregnant after 3 years, I was ecstatic. My whole pregnancy I was on cloud nine. I was myself, the person I always was before. Happy, excitable, friendly, outgoing, social, etc.

I knew something was wrong after Sunny was born.  I did not feel the normal excitement a mother is supposed to feel. I blamed that on the drugs.

However, months later, the sadness was not going away. I was nursing, Sunny was crying a lot due to skin ulcers she had. Rodney was working 14 hour shifts and never home.  I got through it.

As time went on, the baby blues were not going away.  I started feeling ashamed and told nobody.

After my hair started falling out aggressively, and the nursing was not ending, I began isolating myself even more. From all people. I did not want to be around anyone for a long time because nobody understood.

After moving to St. George, I felt the sunshine might help, but it didn't.  No matter how many happy things that happened in our life, nothing could boost myself up. Nothing!
 My ppd is still around, 2.5 years later.

The worst thoughts that go through my head is telling myself that I don't want to be a mother anymore. That Sunny deserves someone better. Those thoughts hurt so bad, but with postpartum depression, your thoughts are sometimes out of control.

With all the excerise I do, yoga, daily walking, and eating well, even doing the paleo diet from time to time, the postpartum depression is still there.  The doctor told me that sometimes those hormones just never never get back to normal, as in my case.

So, if anyone out there knows me and wonders what my deal is, especially many of my family members, living in same town as me, just please have some understanding. It is not you. It is 100% me. I wish that I could just make it go away, but with prayers and serving and living the gospel as I should, I know the Lord can make anything possible.

If you suffer from postpartum depression, there are online support groups out there, Lots of books, or even counseling. OR, if you know me personally, we can talk in person.

I hope in due time I can learn to talk more openly about it and not be ashamed.

I feel this needed to be published because I don't want to walk around and pretend anymore. Babies are wonderful blessings, and I am so honored to me a mother. I just want to be able to enjoy motherhood, as I should.

I hope Sunny knows how much I love her. She really is my miracle!