Dairy

Sunny has a dairy intolerance.  Could even be an allergy.  I don't know, she has not been tested.
What I do know is that all last year she was sick with cold after cold. Lots of phlegm and congestion. I thought it was a virus each time.
Two weeks ago, she got a runny nose. I got he off a milk products and she was immediately better.
Her temperament is better too. She is getting really mature and obedient lately.  Don't know if she is just maturing or feeling good. For now I am going to limit her dairy. I have seen a huge change already.

Weening from Nursing During Day

Today I decided today would be the day to ween Adelaide from nursing.  I know I can't just stop cold turkey and so I will only nurse at night.  So far I am on day 2 doing this method.  The first two days it was hard on her. She would cry to nurse and wouldn't take a bottle with formula.  Tonight, she is getting in the groove of things and accepting the new routine at bit better.  Time will tell with this.

I know it's early to stop nursing as Addie is only 4 months next week, but I know what can happen. I went through the exact same thing with Sunny and it lasted until she was 2.5 years old. We are not in a pioneer age and that is a bit too old to nurse.

Addie has almost the same personality as Sunny did. Sunny was colicy, never slept well and was fidgety and acted uncomfortable all the time. However, she did have skin ulcers that were painful and she had to be on medication for them, however after they disapeared and left huge scars, she was still colicy.
The only other difference with Sunny and Addie is Sunny didn't spit up after a month old and Addie spits up all the time, a symptom of acid reflux.

With two very stubborn personalities when it comes to nursing and choosing to fall asleep only when nursing, I decided I needed to break this habit or I would be in for a long haul nightmare with my little Addie. I am determined to not let it happen this time if it kills me.

Today has been rough. My house duties are neglected because Addie wants to nurse to sleep and be held other times. Mary even let me borrow her Ergo carrier and that did nothing. She hates it.

Sunny is currently in her room now with the stopwatch method going and on and it's working beautifully. Addie finally went to sleep after hours of crying in frustration that she couldn't nurse to sleep. She kept looking at me as if it say, "Why mommy aren't you nursing me to sleep, I don't understand."  It's hardbreaking, but for my own well being, I have to do this.

Addie is currently on Kirkland Formula from Costco. She does well with it so far.......

As much as I hate spending money on formula when I am perfectly capeable of producing milk on my own, I feel there are other reasons I must ween her now. I do feel a bit selfish for weening her but I feel I need to do this for these reasons.

My health.  Nursing is so hard on my body. I don't know if others are in the same boat as me, but not only do I lose a ton of weight, but I get sick all the time and get very dehydrated. I also seem to feel depleted and more anxious when I nurse and am sleep deprived. I am sure other's pick up on my anxious personality.

I swear my milk is like skim milk. Sunny was never satisfied and wanted to eat all day long and Addie is the same.  This leaves me sitting for long stretches and when I do put Addie down, she wakes up again hungry. Formula doesn't do that.

I can't eat what I want to eat when I nurse. I know that sounds selfish, but I LOVE spicy food. I believe in it and I don't get as many colds when I eat hot peppers. I am known to sprinkle pepper flakes, salsa, or Tobasco sauce on just about everything savory,  I also love chocolate and I can't eat that when I nurse either.

There are hundreds of other reasons why I want to quit. I remind myself that I nursed Sunny for 2 1/2 years and I was amazing at that. This time around, I really need to focus on me and getting my health back on track.

My plan is to be done with nightime nursing by the time Addie is 6 months. I don't know if it will be successful, but if the nighttime nursing lasts up to the year, I am okay with that too. I will update periodically to update on how it's going.

New Schedule

Awhile back I posted my schedule.  I love it but I realized there are days we will not be going to gym or daycare. I did buy a year membership to gym and I paid for Sunny to go to daycare every single day. However, I decider the gym would be every day at night, but only 3 times a week in morning.

This works great for Rodney's schedule to study and have a quiet house while we are gone for his tests. Also, Sunny is able to play with Eve and Abe at daycare so she is always excited over that.

I have had people ask me why i am so devoted to gym.  They say I am so skinny, i dont need it.  When I go to gym, I hardly ever work out,  not hardcore anyway.  My main drive is for Sunny and Rodney.  Rodney needs to study and take tests, Sunny needs to see her friends at daycare and it doesn't hurt that I see mine there too. Usually my friend is there and we will chill on the couch, nurse and talk about kids while we wait.

If I do exercise it's usually yoga,  walking the track or doing the bike or treadmill while watching a good movie, usually lifetime.


I decided this because mornings can be hectic and I want to stick to this new routine I came up with.

I was becoming very frustrated over no nap time. I felt I was loosing control and that Sunny was running the household. This left me feeling anxious and tired.  I knew something had to change.

One day I was pondering ideas when it occurred to me that I should use a stop watch. I ran to store and bought one for a few dollars. I then asked Sunny to go to her room for afternoon nap time. Whether she napped or not was up to her. The point was that she would have quiet time in her room for 45 minutes until the stop watch right ringed. If she fell asleep, that would be a different story and I would remove the watch from her room.

So far this is working better then I imagine ed. I dont know how long this will last or be successful, but for now i am over joyed. Sunny loves this strategy and has relaxed enough to fall asleep a few times. I am also thinking of playing relaxing music while she is laying in her bed or playing with her animals.

Why I didn't think of this sooner, I don't know.

A few weeks ago we got a primary CD at our door and we have been playing it everyday. It brings the spirit into our home and Sunny responds well to music.  TV wires her and we are not having it on hardly ever now.

While music plays, Sunny plays on kitchen floor, usually play dough, white board or watercolor. She also loves her magnetic paper dolls that she can dress with different outfits, shoes, etc.
 She is cleaning up after herself so well.

Adelaide is getting better. Her toe is healing and I am constantly watching out for hair or other odd things that can be a future issue.

She is scooting now and rolling over. I think she will be all over the floor soon.

What I Considered Hard Is Now Nothing

What a day!  Home from the ER now. Look at this toe.

Today started out a nice Sunday. Except Sunny has a little sinus congestion so I had her stay home. I got ready for church and asked Rodney if it was okay that I did Sacrament and he do Priesthood. He said it would be great so I headed out and planned to return home in an hour or so. When one of our kids is sick, we split things up that way so we both have the opportunity to attend church.

After Sacrament meeting, I headed home. Rodney had a headache and had a huge homework assignment to finish so he said he wouldn't make it. I told him I would take Adelaide with me so Sunny could watch a show quietly while she rested and Rodney finish his class.

Rodney, btw, is set to graduate this year so he is really working hard to accelerate and get done so he can start his MBA next year. That means I have been taking the kids out of the house more so he can get his study sessions done in peace without distractions from Sunny or the baby. *Yesterday was stressful taking both kids to Target for the first time together,  and spending more time then I would like nursing Addie in the men's handicap dressing room. Gotta nurse in privacy and go to what's available.*

Anyway, I took addie so rod could study. She was not dressed for church, and I quickly changed into a nursing outfit.

At church, addie was not acting herself. She is c olicy when it comes to always wanting to be held, but this was different. She wouldn't nurse or calm down. I thought she was just having tummy problems.

Went to choir practice after church to give Rodney more time to study. Addie was still crying. Called Rodney to check in and he said Sunny was demanding his attention, so I picked Sunny up and told Rodney he could study for a few more hours while we went to my mom's for dinner. Addie got worse. I took her nightgown off but never looked at her toes. We went home about 6 pm and about 6:30, she was on my lap crying when I finally noticed her toe.

I gasped and called to Rodney for help. He grabbed his flashlight and tried to figure out what was wrapped around her toe so tight. I thought she was maybe bit by a poisonous spider. Addie was hysterical,  crying harder and louder. I figured taking her to instances would be a long wait so I called 911. They came immediately and advised us to take her to instacare.  We did that and they asked us to take her to ER.

After 4 hours of waiting, the doc finally looked at it and thought it was fine hair wrapped around her toe very tightly. He grabbed his scalpel and dug into her skin. I watched blood pour out and couldn't watch. My baby was screaming,  clenching her fists in pain. We aren't 100% sure he got the hair or if hair is even the culprit,  so she will go back tomorrow if no improvement.

I feel so bad as a mother. I feel I have been so wrapped up in daily tasks that I failed in someway.  Tonight I gained a new perspective on motherhood and life in general.


It's true I have focused on so much of the negative in my life. Complaint after complaint about this and that. None of it matters. Tonight I felt a fear that was not familiar to me, not since Sunny was an infant. Watching my helpless baby go through pain. Real Pain, and feeling helpless with her.

The fear I felt tonight made me realize that all else that's a challenge in my mothering duties is all very minor.

I realized I needed to start focusing on the positive and ditching the negative, even if venting to friends or family does somehow take a load off me, nobody needs to hear negativity.

With an antibiotic gently inserted into her mouth, I watched Adelaide suck and swallow it down, and then she fell asleep.

I hold her in my arms and kiss her softly,  thinking about how much I love her,  how much I love Sunny and Rodney.

The monotonous day to day tasks of motherhood and raising my babies will never be taken for granted again. Life is too short, feels sometimes too long, but this is my life and I am learning to enjoy the ride.

Making it through Winter & End Of Week Re-cap

Bettrr.  Most people don't know that we don't use the heater in our house.  We use a fireplace and burn wood. We kindof live like mountain men. Part of our living room is full of sticks and wood and looks like some rough terrain. Good thing Sunny is old enough to not trespass and Addie is too small to explore.

I love my house to look "pretty" but that ain't happenin' this winter.

It'S much cheaper to live like this, but when the fire goes out, it is chilly.

When we moved into this house, we noticed the heat source was electric not gas. Running the heater on electric is super expensive.  We called up to get a quote on installing a gas line so we could have heat. It would be about 8,200. Why on earth did nobody install it before us. This house was built in 1973. Geez.

What baffles me is nobody did anything to this house as far as upgrades. We've done it all. Someone did create a garden, and a very fine one. So whoever you are, good job!

The people who lived in our house before us had two blended families living together. How they did it with 4 plus kids,  I don't know. Before we made an offer on this house, we walked through it. It was disgusting. The carpet had paint and dirt and nail polish all over it. The tile was the original, counters were missing, weeds were high outside. It was bad and the people that inhabited it were pigs.

We knew we were in a long haul and it would take all our savings and more to upgrade it. We tore it apart, the walls, tile, carpet, counters, cabinets, it all came out and replaced with new. We were minimal in hiring. We did most ourselves.  My mom was going through a nasty divorce during that time and we were living with her to help her cope while we worked on it.

So after putting so much money into the house, we wondered if we could just save the 8,000 and buy a fireplace insert instead. We decided on that.

I love our fireplace, but keeping a fire going isn't always easy. Rodney is a master scout man and is very experienced in that area, but I always struggled in my hiking and survival class at the Y, and got a B instead of an A because I couldn't start a fire from scratch with my bow and drill.

With a new baby, I have made every effort to keep our place warm for her. I can endure the chill, but keeping my babies warm is my top priority.

I hated the heat last summer, but right about now, it doesn't sound so bad. Can't wait for spring and more sunshine.  Winter is not my fondest season.

So, this week here is what we did:


We bought a new front door. No more bright coral orange door.  It makes our house look more sophisticated and less Pee-wee Herman-ish.

Rodney sliced his finger installing said door and got 8 stiches.

In other news, Addie Olivia is being a royal pain. She always wants to be held and cries until she's held again. Good thing she's cute.

She is also sleeping in our bed. I never thought I would do the co-sleeping stuff, but it's happening and I got to change this fast. I am getting more sleep though and I wonder if that's more important then starting a bad habit.

She is getting big and rolling now. She is fasinated by rolling from her back to tummy. Its so fun to watch. Sunny on the other hand is doing well. She is getting better and cleaning up after herself and is really maturing. She can be a bit rough with her sister, but has a deep love for her.

Symptoms of Toddleritis

Toddleritis-A treatable and curable form of mental exhaustion that comes from raising toddlers.

If you are a mom of a toddler, then you know that this is real.

Stay at home mom's are known to suffer from it more then working out of the home mothers.  Good thing it's treatable.

Here is how I know I have toddleritis-

I start to yell. I do not consider myself one who yells, but rather bottles up frustrations and has one huge explosion. That is probably worse.  Usually it happens once a week when I feel I am loosing control.  Baby needs to nurse non-stop and Sunny is jeolous that I can't hold her as well, so she starts climbing on me while I am nursing, I ask her to stop, she takes it in a negative way, and before we know it, tantrums or some other acting out starts to happen.

I know I said I was not going to nurse this time around, but I will leave this for another post. There is a huge reason why I am nursing this time around and it's not easy.

Here is another toddleritis symptom I have:

Baby is fast asleep. Sunny is loud and I am afraid she will wake up baby. I try to have quiet time with her and read. She grows bored after 15 minutes and decides to play in her room. She sings and dances and has fun. Except she becomes loud. Very loud. I sshhhhh her and she becomes upset and takes that as another negative. Baby wakes up and I am frustrated and bottle up inside.

I know us moms all have these mental exhausting moments.  Here is how you can treat toddleritis:

Give yourself space. Go out without your kids or when husband gets home, go out and do something you love. Just make sure you have your space. When mom starts to yell then you know she needs a time out from her kids.  Mom's who don't give themselves time-out from kids are usually the ones who have toddleritis at its worse.

So if you are a mom and you know what I mean, give yourself a break from the toddler(s). You will find yourself refreshed and renewed and every mom needs that.

The Battle Of The 3's

I don't have much time to write as baby is about to wake up any second and Sunny will need my attention within the next 2 minutes, so this will be quick.  I am been having a lot of "why" moments lately regarding my 3 year old. I love her so much, but there are times I can't quite understand her.

When I was her age, I was so different.  According to the one who raised me, I took naps, I was obedient, I ate well and was not too picky, I was very quiet and shy.  So, I ask myself, if all things are inherited, why didn't Sunny inherit those traits.  I asked Rodney's mother what he was like. She gave me a few traits he had, and I think Sunny must take after him on some level, except Rodney took naps more often then not and he was a little more shy then Sunny. He was not a picky eater and I am not sure if he was obedient or not.....

Here is the thing, there are worse things in life and I am not here to complain, but rather describe where Sunny is in this season of her life so that years down the road, we will be able to look back and remember what frisky little 3 year old she was.

I am not sure if parents shape who their children become (operent conditioning I believe is what it's called) or if children are just born with their personalities.  I am leaning more towards they are born with their personalities.  When Sunny was born, I knew she wasn't going to be easy.  When Addi Olivia (We are starting to call her that since Sunny won't let go of her former name and we all got a little attached to it as well) was born, I felt she would be a bit more mellow and somewhat the same as Sunny. Only time will tell.

I am learning not to compare children. When I do that, I am so much harder on Sunny then I should be. Instead, I am learning to accept who she is and embrace her personality while instilling values and lessons I want her to learn and remember. So, here is my "Why" with my Sunny.

1. Why she won't take a single nap no matter how hard I try
2. Why she can't ever behave in Sacrament meeting
3. Why she can't use a toilet, but rather her mini potty that has to be cleaned out. Flushing a toilet would be so much more preferable. At least no more diapers unless in public (no use of toliet, remember).
4. Why she only will eat bread, cheese, muffins and chips and peanut butter and Jelly as her staples
5. Why she will not obey when asked to do something. Bribes don't work. She's getting better.
6. Why she wakes up so early and goes to bed so late, despite our efforts to tuck her in, read and sing to her.  Sleep would be the best present she could give me, but Sunny has had a sleep disorder since she was born and I am seriously thinking of putting her on medication for it.
7. Why she is stubborn

I have a list that can go on but I don't want this to be negativity outlet where I feel I am picking on her.  She has more positives about her then negatives and I want to focus on the positives more anyway.  I want Adelaide to look up to Sunny one day and teach her how to be a productive citizen one day as well as a leader who is kind and isn't afraid to be herself.

I tell myself I hope this is just a phase of the terrible 3's. I remind myself that each year will be different and as hard as these stay at home mom years are for me, it will go by fast an I will miss every little bit of it. It's just hard to think that way when days are stressful.

I love my kids so much and they are my life. I know I need to make improvements in myself and be better too. I know by strengthening my weaknesses, I can learn and grow at the same rate as Sunny. I know I am here to teach her, but I feel she is the one teaching me. She teaches me daily about patience, love, acceptance, forgiveness, and how to be more friendly. What a great example she is to me to follow in her footsteps,