Olivia's Blessing

 Today was our little Olivia's blessing day. It was not perfect, but it did go well. Let me explain, but before I do, I will remind you that over 3 years ago, Sunny was blessed. Problem was, the microphone was broken and I did not hear a single thing Rodney said. So it didn't go as I wished, but I got over it.
This time around, I dreamed about everything going great. Not perfect, but great.  For 2 months I imagined what her special day would be like. I am super emotional during any blessing and I just wanted to make a very special memory of today.
We got to church at about 10:30 because we needed to sort out some last business stuff and get a good seat. Rodney's mom and brother came and we wanted to make sure they also got a seat.  I made sure my bag was packed and ready just in case Olivia needed a last minute change. I feared she would have a blow out since she has been having them lately.  As I walked into the chapel, I realized I forgot her wipes. I had her diapers, but no wipes. Darn.  I sat down and sure enough, she had one and I needed her wipes. I went and changed her really quick, without the wipes. Yuck!

I didn't see my mom. She never misses choir practice so I thought she was sick.  Sure enough she arrived.  We had a good seat, and everything was going as planned. I still had some fear that Sunny would start freaking out or Olivia would began crying during her blessing. but so far everything was good.  I asked Rodney if the blessing was done before or after the sacrament. I couldn't seem to remember the order and I wanted to double check. He assured me it was after the sacrament.
About 5 minutes into sacrament, Sunny started freaking out over her game not working. She started begging my mom to help her and my mom kept saying not now, not now, which only made Sunny act worse.  I started growing concern that Sunny would get more frustrated and began crying, and during the opening prayer she did.  Rodney was holding the baby and asked me to take her out and I refused to get up during the prayer. It just seems irreverent,  so I waited. Sunny started crying louder and louder making a scene. So I took her out. I figured I would have enough time to calm her meltdown and get back in time for the blessing. There was no way in hell I would miss my baby's blessing.
Once in the bathroom, Sunny would not stop with the drama. She only got worse.  Why was this happening? Why on this special day I waited for so long.  I almost began to cry.  That is when a sister came into the bathroom and told me my baby was being blessed. What!!!

She told me she would stay with Sunny out in the hall while she cried so I would see and hear my baby be blessed. I rushed inside only to walk in during the blessing.

Sure, It was not supposed to go that way. It was not how I envisioned it to go. But again, I got over it.  I am realizing more and more that life never goes as planned.  If it weren't for sister P coming into take over Sunny, I would of missed the entire blessing. I am not sure I would ever get over that.

I am so thankful for the observant members in my ward. Someone saw me walk out with Sunny and someone knew I had not returned. Someone knew and felt prompted to intervene and take over and just the right moment. I will forever be thankful for this sister who did just that.

We had a barbeque at our home after the blessing and swooned over baby Olivia. She is the sweetest and most angelic baby I have ever seen. The bond I have with her is indescribable.  I can not imagine life without her.

Life is never meant to be perfect. Believe me when I say I try to make sure events go perfect, but they never do. I can't forget when I packed my hospital bag for Olivia's arrival. I had everything I would need, only to have my water bottle spill over everything and not have one dry item of clothing for either of us.  What a wreck that was.  But the point of all this is not to focus on the negative aspects of what happens, but whether the positive.  Today did turn very positive and I am so grateful and thankful for the sweet life of my baby girl.


Laughter Is The Best Medicine

There's this movie called Patch Adams that I love. Haven't seen it in ages, but Robin Williams plays a goofy doctor who believes that laughter is the best medicine and would purposely make all his patients laugh with each round.

This movie really makes me realize how much we all need to laugh on a daily basis. Whether it be while watching a silly movie, telling jokes, reading a Dr. Seuss book (Funny Things Are Everywhere) or just laughing at our precocious toddlers, we just need to let go and just laugh.

This week I have been laughing up a storm. It must be the sleep deprivation. When I don't get enough sleep, I tend to laugh at everything much more.  Here is one hilarious line I want to remember from my own family this week.

From Sunny

Sunny:  "Daddy, mom's eyes are turning black."

Dad: "Are you sure?"

Sunny: "Yes and she is going to turn scary."

This conversation took place in the hallway while I sat in the recliner nursing my baby.  I just sat there laughing as I listened.

There are other silly things Sunny says on a daily basis and I wish I spent more time writing or typing up what I remember. I don't want to forget this cute stage she is in or some of the darndest things she says.

My mom has always been really silly and witty. I remember my nieces and I would stay up late during sleepovers and giggle at things my mom did that day.

We would sing and dance to certain Christmas songs while wearing huge glasses and perform skits to make everyone laugh on Christmas Eve.  Those were the days!

It seems after having kids, life got too serious. The day to day hustle and bustle seemed to drag me down.

Sunny brought me her toy guitar the other day and asked me to play. So I did. But in a serious way. Two days later she asked me to play it again . That time I decided the serious mom was not happening anymore.  I took the guitar and danced with her and we both laughed.

I have decided to stop sweating the small stuff.  I love having a perfectly clean house,  a spotless kitchen, and an organized routine. Those are what have kept me serious. Letting my house become a disaster this week was difficult,  but it made me less serious and more fun.

From now on I think Sunny will enjoy a more relaxed and down to earth me.


Whatever Will Be, Will Be

I am so thankful to be a woman in the gospel. My ward is like my family. Each week I see the same familiar faces and I instantly feel peace and security.  There is just something so calming about having a ward family. We call each other brother and sister in our ward for a reason. We really are siblings to each other.  We have each other.

I know my ward family will always be there for me. How comforting to know.

I am so thankful to have my mother in my ward. I am so thankful she can pick up Sunny occasionally and take her out for pizza, ice cream and movies, giving me that little extra break I need.

Speaking of Sunny:
Sunny has decided to start going potty in her pants.  yep, it's been fun around here.  Not only will she not use a real toilet, but refuses to use a public one.  This means we either put an expensive pull-up on her, or she just freely goes outside, hippie style.

This child of mine has a real stubborn personality.  I mean to the extreme.  I knew that when she was 2.5 years old and still wouldn't give up nursing,  no matter how worn out I was trying to make her stop.

I also knew how stubborn she was when she wouldn't try any new foods and only stuck to her 7 staples she eats on repeat.

I knew her refusal to take naps was part of ger stubborn disposition as well. No matter how long I would lay with her to help her sleep.

It never would happen.

Sunny, my dear stubborn child. You definitely have my work cut out for me. My life wouldn't be as exciting if I didn't have you to challenge me as you do.

I remind myself daily that my role as mother is like a chapter book. Each chapter I am moving towards the ultimate resolution.  That resolution is raising her to adulthood,  to her 18th birthday.  The day she will be legally able to make her own choices.

I also remind myself that I can do hard things.  This affirmation reminds me that the Lord wouldn't send his child to me if He knew I couldn't handle it.

These precious children all come with unique personalities and challenges to this earth.  As their parents, it is up to us to guide them on a righteous path. In no way is that expected to be easy, but it will be worth it.


Election Day, Home Improvement & A One Month Old

It's Election Day!!! Today is HUGE for my family and I. We plan to make pumpkin chocolate chip cookies and have a little party around our couch as we watch intensely as the results come in. I am just so glad this is almost over. I am sick of the negative ads and overall drama from both candidates.

In other news, I have a one month old now. I may be biased, but she is the cutest baby I have ever seen.
                            pink and blue
She is such a good baby. So easy going. Sleeps all day and up most the night.  I know it will change soon. I don't mind a bit. I just LOVE her!!

She caught her first cold from her sister. poor baby.
                           Halloween baby
                            sister love

I haven't forgotten about my Rugrat Sunny. She insisted I take her picture too.
We love our new fireplaces and have used it a few times.  It was the best house investment we could of done. it heats our house so well and we can now save tons of money this winter.
            Home sick from preschool

I finally ordered us a new kitchen table after I bought this one at the Boulevard.
I liked it in store but as soon as I put it in my kitchen, I hated it.  It does not go with my country kitchen theme. It has a granite type surface and is very nice, just not for my kitchen. I am very picky about stuff like this.
I am returning it and can't wait until my bright white table and chair set comes. It will match my white cupboards, white french doors and white shelves.
   debating whether I should put the fall away and bring on the Christmas.

Here is a final picture of some home improvement.  Newly planted grass. It is doing great! I am thrilled to finally have some green rather then a dirt yard.


Grateful Sunday

I realized after my last post how negative it was. I decided that I needed to write something positive today.  I feel so grateful for what the Lord has blessed me with. I know I need to reflect on the good I see and that positive changes can start with me.  I've said all these things before and I will say them again. I am so grateful to be in the gospel, married to a hardworking husband who lets me stay home with our children, who goes to school full time and will be graduating in a few months with a degree in business/accounting.

I am so grateful to be blessed with children.  after experiencing the heartbreak of years of infertility,  I feel God is so good.

I am so grateful for my house. although its a fixer upper and it drives me nuts, I love our home and never want to move anywhere else.

For my sweet friends. I have made amazing mama friends who I love doing playdates with, who I can count on for favors.

Today I woke up and decided I really wanted to improve my relationship with Sunny. We have cuddled up next to our fireplace as it burned wood (so awesome) anf read stories. I need to give my time to this girl and do more then drag her along when I run errands. That is not the quality of time she needs from me, my frazzled mama brain gets that now.  She needs me as much as I need her.  I have already seen improvement in her behavior.

Sunny was lucky to have 3 Halloween parties to attend this year, one being tomorrow.  She talks about Halloween everyday and can hardly wait to go trick or treating tomorrow.  We are keeping traditions going of making our annual dinner in a pumpkin recipe along with pumpkin pie.

The holidays are approaching and I couldn't be more grateful to spend them with my loved ones.


How Our Lives Have Changed Part 2

This is more of a continuation of last post I wrote but didn't have time to finish.  This post is hard to write because it is not in the slightest bit positive. It is the truth and I am at a loss of how to make things right at this point in the game.

When it was just us 3, I felt I had more control over Sunny's behavior.  This time around, my energy is lingering, I am in constant mama bear protective mode, and I am dealing with a very defiant child at her worse. I do not know if things will get better. I have yet to talk to anyone who has gone through what I am.

Today in particular was really tough.  Since Olivia's birth, I have put so much of my attention on her. I don't mind one bit. The sleepless nights are all worth it. I love this little baby so much I can't even express it.

However, Sunny's behavior has gotten worse since her arrival and today was quite the breaking point for me. Last night, I got about 2 hours of sleep. Olivia has had some acid reflux and was gassy most of the night. She has been such a great sleeper most of the day, but evenings she can get a bit fussy and has started to spit up more and more.

This morning, Sunny was doing all sorts of things to annoy me. While I was in the kitchen washing bottles I noticed it was very quiet. I have felt very nervous about leaving Sunny with Olivia for even the slightest of second so I quickly ran into the living room only to find Olivia missing. I panicked and then saw a huge pile of pillows and blankets and Olivia was on the bottom, suffocating.  Sunny had decided to build a fort and use her as the base.

I was so frustrated and mortified as Olivia lay there motionless and quite in shock.  I picked her up quickly and thank goodness I had gotten to her in time.  I sent Sunny to her room. I know Sunny knows nothing about suffocation and trying to explain it to her would probably do no good.

This is one example of me or Rodney constantly disciplining Sunny All. Day. Long.  She has become so rebellious often picking the baby up, poking her eyes or rubbing her head a bit too hard.

I know that Sunny is responding in a negative way, but I don't know how to correct her behavior as she is increasingly refusing to obey any of us, she is starting to refuse to please us and I think she is beginning to just hate us in general.

About a week ago she actually said the words I never thought I would hear, but she said said it, "I hate you mommy."  That nearly broke me and I still have no idea where she picked up that word "hate."  Preschool??

What saddens me most is my relationship with Sunny is not great right now.  It's actually quite negative. I am making effort to take her out one on one but even that has turned into me having to discipline her.

I know there are worse problems out there. This blog is my own little journal and I know I will appreciate this in years to come.

I hope and pray this is just a phase.


How Our Lives Have Changed

It's crazy to think that it's already almost 3 weeks since our lives changed.
It's crazy that these pictures were taken just a few weeks ago yet seem ages ago.
 just after she was born. I'm pretty exposed here, but modesty does go out the window after giving birth. I was thrilled she latched on and got the nursing thing even though I am using mostly bottles.

  the most beautiful, breathtaking     moment ever.
                  My last Dr. appt, hooray!!

I forgot what it was like to get up so often in the night with a newborn, how much water I would need to drink while nursing and how much more laundry detergent I would go through.

I wouldn't want it any other way. I'm tired,  yes, but I am so happy with where I am in life.

Sunny has been the hardest. I have felt guilt for not validating her feelings enough. last week I decided I missed just hanging out with her like past times.
I have made every effort to take her along when I run errands and its made a huge difference.


Mango Salsa (see January archive on right for recipe)