Tired. So So Tired

Here is another random post today. I guess you can say I am just plain frustrated. Extreme tiredness is more like it. Don't get me wrong, I love being pregnant,  It's my favorite, but i'm in that phase of wishing I felt normal again.

Here my vent begins.

During this pregnancy, I have lost count of how many times I have fallen asleep during the day.  I have found myself fighting myself to stay awake to take care of Sunny.

But I am going to admit some things that have been happening around here. Please don't call the Social Services Department on me, but I have fallen asleep on the job a few times a day.  Sunny could be playing with her lego's, I could be watching her, and the next minute, I am out.  I have no idea how long I am asleep, but a few times when I have woken up, Sunny has been in her room playing.

I can't imagine what guilt I would feel if she got hurt or walked outside. This is scary stuff.

The TV is on most of the day for Sunny's entertainment. During that time, I drift in and out of consciousness.

People may ask if I go to bed at a descent hour. The answer is yes. I go to bed as soon as Sunny is asleep. This varies between 9:30 and 10 pm. Some days I am lucky because she goes to bed at 9 pm.  Sunny hates to sleep.

When I do go to bed, I am awoken in the night by the constant need to pee.  I go maybe once or twice in the night.  Then my back hurts and I try to get comfortable.  I am a back sleeper, and sleeping on the back is a huge no-no in pregnancy, mainly the 2nd trimester. So I just suffer with sleeping on my side, with lots of pillows between me and my legs.

                               
Then Sunny comes into our room between 2-3 am. I have no idea why she wakes in the night, but as soon as she gets in bed next to me and feels my body next to hers, she is sound asleep.  The problem is, I can't sleep like that.

Sleeping problems at night and just plain pregnancy haggardness and fatigue, I have found myself just a plain zombie.

Did I mention very sick. I have actually thrown up at the grocery store. This morning sickness lasts all day with me.

About 19- 20 weeks and on, is when I start feeling normal and super great, as was last time. I am almost there.

My hygiene is embarrassing. I hardly do my hair, no makeup, lounge clothes all day and in public. All part of being an official zombie.

Rodney is so great about helping me out. He works 40 hours a week and he goes to school full time, so I hate asking him to watch Sunny all the time. He often does though because he is just that great.

I have found my greatest strength to be God.   The Lord has given me amazing strength in the past when Sunny was sick as a infant, and I know he can help me gain strength during this pregnancy.  All I need to do is ask.  The Lord understands each of us and our needs. This is just the season of life I am in right now. I know my energy will return in about a month. I miss that energy.

Picture source: thedailymail.UK.

Don't Hide That Bump

This is a bit of a random post, but it's been on my mind a lot lately. I needed to write this down.

Last time I was pregnant, I hate to admit, but I did try to hide my growing bump. I wanted to be pregnant for so long, and then when it happened, I tried to hide it with baggy clothing.  Why, Amy, why?

It's so complex. I can't even begin to describe why?  But when I was pregnant with Sunny, I never wore anything that accentuated my stomach, unless around the house.  I often would walk around with my purse over my stomach to try to hide it. When I did go to the store, ward functions, work, etc, I wore anything to deflect notice to my stomach.

Having a baby shower scared me. I did not want one to be honest.

Pregnancy is a wonderful, beautiful thing. It's a miracle.  I decided that this time around, I would take on a different approach. No more hiding from what God blessed me with. This time around, I will celebrate and walk with confidence.  After all, I am a daughter of God. I can't live my life bothered of what others may think.  What about my own feelings.  Nobody should live that way.

It all sounds very silly in the end, but I have a huge sensitivity towards women struggling to get pregnant.  I've been there!

I understand that some infertile people feel pain when they see a pregnant woman.  That is completely natural and expected.  A huge part of why I tried to conceal my bump with Sunny, was out of worry I was hurting someone.  I don't like to hurt anyone. Every once in awhile, I would see a woman alone, glancing at me, then walking away. I wondered if I caused her pain, or if I was a reminder of what she wanted, but couldn't seem to have.

Now, my new approach is to walk tall, stand tall, as the daughter of God we are. Pregnant or not, we all deserve that walk of confidence. If people don't smile, turn the other cheek and continue to maintain that confidence.

Pregnancy is such a short chapter in one's life. Embrace it and love it!

Easter 2016

I have so many fun memories of Easter. The magic is so strong when you are a child, but somehow having a child now, the magic returns.

Easter a a time to celebrate Christ's birth, his resurrection, the atonement, renewal, birth, and all things fresh and alive, just like Spring symbolizes.

As a kid, I remember sugar overload right before church. It never fell on a fast sunday, and my morning before church consisted of lots of sugar cookies and easter eggs filled with yummy treasures.

We are trying to set more traditions in our family, so this year we decided that we would start the tradition of bisquits and gravy with all the fixins'  on Easter morning. This year was fast sunday in our ward, so we had it Saturday night and it was amazing!!

I am not opposed to cinnamon rolls like we have Christmas morning, but a hearty breakfast just sounds better.  (To make bisquits and gravy, use the McCormick brand country gravy packet. So easy, to make. Then just use your favorite homemade bisquit recipe).

Sunny was so excited this year. She must be growing up.  We had a little Easter egg hunt, just the three of us, in our backyard after dad and I spent a few hours painting the outside of our house. She was so thrilled to find all these eggs hidden.  Then she got to color eggs that night with daddy. She is starting to love hard boiled eggs and I hope colorful ones will make her want to eat them more.

My favorite part was shopping for the easter candy. Dad's too.  There are so many varieties out there, but you know me, I ended up getting tons of chocolate favorites. Dark chocolate eggs, reeses eggs, robin eggs, chocolate bunnies. Then I saw the cadbury eggs. I think I wanted them all. But had to pass on them this year. Too much candy around here is not safe, mostly from me.

                                                     Her Easter egg hunt collection

                                                                    Easter Morning.

                                                              She really dug in. Sugar High.

                                                               So happy it's Easter!

                                                         
                                                              After church pictures.
                                                      She really tested my patience at church
                                                      today.  I think she teaches me more then
                                                      I could ever teach her.

                                                                      What's that?

                                                            Sunny will be 3 years old in less
                                                            then 2 months.  How is that
                                                            possible. Wasn't she just born?


I haven't done an update for awhile, so here it goes. Sunny is growing up so quick.  Just last night, she actually got herself out of the tub on her own, grabbed her own towel and walked right into the room where I was. She insisted in dressing herself.

I can't say she isn't potty trained, because she is. She understands the concept 100%.  Her problem is defiancy.  There are days where she will wake up and say she needs to use the potty, and there are other days she absolutely refuses. It all depends on her mood.  She still refuses to poop in the potty.  I don't understand why, but she just won't.  I am just patiently waiting for her to choose to use the potty all the time. I will not force her to use it.

One of the things she is doing now is shushing us whenever she is scolded.  It will end like, Shhhhhhh, Shhhhhhh, Shhhhhhhh with her finger up on her lips.  It's cute now, but won't be when she's 4.

She still doesn't obey or listen too well.  She has a mind of her own and what she wants, she is determined to get.  That is our biggest challenge going on.

What Sunny is teaching me most of all is how to be a calm, soft spoken mother.  Thast is so not me, but when I am that way, she is a better behaved child. I also notice she is better behaved when I validate her feelings, rather then be annoyed by how she is reacting.  Ignoring her attention getting behaviors, rather then reacting to them, also helps her behavior in the long run.

Oh, I am learning so much. I wish I could be consistent with her daily, I am working on it, but in the gist of it all, I am so glad she's our and that we are a family.  I love who she is. She makes me laugh everyday, and she is my best friend. I love her with all my heart.

Live & Learn: What I learned from Baby #1 that I won't repeat again.

In short a few weeks, I will learn what the gender of our baby is.  This time I am so ready. I didn't want to know with Sunny, but this time around, I really do.

Oh man, I'm nervous to find out. Having a girl would be so nice. I came from a family of all girls. I don't know how to relate to boys. I was a nanny for two toddler boys before.

But, I know a lot of mom's who say that having a boy is wonderful. You don't know until you have him. That is reassuring to me.

I am making some strong commitments to myself this time. I have tendencies to not follow through with stuff, so writing this down, will only help me remember and stick to my words.

So, here is my list:

1. I will not nurse,  Let's see if I end up eating my words. My solution: Breastmilk in a bottle from the very beginning.

There are many pros and cons to nursing and I have a huge list for each, but Sunny showed me what a nightmare nursing ended up becoming. She would never take a bottle, she depended on me day and night, she would not go to sleep on her own without nursing, and she wouldn't give it up until she was 2.5. I tried and tried, and nothing I did would seperate her me.

My conclusion to nursing: Never again.

2. I will never puree another fruit or veggie again. I made this mistake with Sunny. When she was about 5 months, I started giving her puree's and I spent so much time making her food in my blender, then freezing it, that I was exhausted. She became picky and to this day is picky.

There is a method to solving picky eaters. It's called, "Baby Led Weaning" and I wished I would of done this with Sunny.  It involves introducing baby to normal human food at about 6 months. The food can be fed through a mesh or can be given in simple form in small, un-chockable peices.  Foods can include, avocado, a chicken thigh or leg that they can gnaw on, small pieces of rasperries, scrambled eggs, etc.  By introducing babies to this way to eating, studies have shown that picky eating is reduced significantly.


3. Start sleep training immediately. No baby will sleep with me again. This leads to more then one problem.

4. No more wasting money on baby shoes, until they start walking. They kick them off and lose them.

5. Have a diaper pail with a neutralizer and oder remover. Newborns go so often, and this will become a huge lifesaver.

6.  Don't use a baby bathtub. I wish I never wasted money on buying one. It is so much more work and not worth it.  Bathing baby in the kitchen sink saves your back and is so much easier.

7.  Don't worry about germs so much. With Sunny, I was paranoid about her coming in contact with germs. That's first baby syndrome for ya.  I would never put her on floor without a blanket and insisted she be in a playpen.

I don't think I will use a playpen again and I am certainly not opposed to baby scooting all over the carpet and playing with germy stuff on floor. The more germs, the better immunity for baby, seriously.

8. Get rid of all hand sanitizer.  I rarely use the stuff. Not only does it dry your hands out bad, but is it really necessary to use it all the time, or before holding baby. Ridiculous if you ask me.

9. Take baby out in the world after it's born.  When Sunny was born, I was literally afraid to take her out in the world for at least a month.  The sooner baby is held by friends and family and around it's natural environment, the better stimulation it will recieve, and may even sleep better at night.  Babies are not fragile or breakable. They actually enjoy interacting, staring at people and getting fresh air.

10.  The more relaxed you are when holding a newborn, the more relaxed a newborn will be.  With Sunny, I was so tense for the first month or so.  I was constantly wondering if I was holding her head and supporting her neck properly. I began to over-analyze everything. I simply was not relaxed.  In turn, Sunny absorbed that and felt un-relaxed as well.  Holding a baby in a relaxed position may take practice for some.

11. Stop being a helicopter mom.  I was and am still a bit that way with Sunny, but I blame that on her being my first.  I have gotten so much better now that Sunny is getting more independent and no longer needs me as much.

When I was a nursery worker, we had this sign on the door outside that said, "Your're children need a break from you, and you need a break from them. Please do not come inside unless absolutely necessary."

This is so true. I still notice from time to time a few moms who will not allow their child to stay in nursery alone, and insist on being in there with them.  My opinion on that is mom needs to relax  and learn to enjoy herself away from her child.

So here is my list I better remember.  I am sure I will think of more along the way.

Slow Cooker Beef Stroganoff

I remember the first time I had beef stroganoff. I was in 6th grade. We were probably into the third or fourth week of school starting. I had a horrible day at school. Who knows what happened, but I just remember thinking that a lot of the girls in 6th grade were not the kindest. I do remember feeling a huge adjustment going to a brand new school away from my comfort zone.

When I got home that day, my mom was away at work and I walked into an empty house. Typical. Back then I would do anything to have a stay at home mom, or a sister or brother, or anyone at home after school.

Walking into an empty house after school was difficult, but I got used to it.  It was days like this that I really craved someone home to vent about my day.  My mom had to work to pay the bills and that was the reality I had to accept. I admired my mom for what she did for me.

That evening when mom finally got home, I remember feeling so hungry and out of sorts. As mom stood at the stove, her feet hurting from standing all day, and her back aching from sore muscles, I watched as she stirred this fragrant sauce that filled the entire house, I began to feel a sense of warmth and comfort. Food can do that you know.

I had no idea what she was preparing, but when she called me to dinner, I felt peace. Everything would be okay.

As I piled my plate full of noodles and then topped them with this rich meaty sauce with sour cream not quite stirred in completely, my eyes grew wide with curiosity. It smelled so good.  What was it, I asked my mom?

"It's called beef stroganoff, ma dear.  And it's my favorite meal. she replied."

"Then why have you never made it before, I questioned."

I took one bite and instantly my world had changed. This was hands down my favorite thing I had ever eaten.

That night I felt great. I daydreamed about my day would be like tomorrow.

6th grade turned out to by my favorite year. The first week was rough, but after that night of beef stroganoff, I had a whole new take on how my year would go. I give a lot of credit to this meal.


Slow Cooker Beef Stroganoff.

(This does not have to be prepared in a slow cooker, but it does make the meat so much more tender.

Ingredients

2

pounds beef stew meat

1

cup chopped onion

1

can (10 3/4 ounces) condensed golden mushroom soup

1

can (10 3/4 ounces) condensed cream of onion soup

1

jar (6 ounces) Green Giant™ sliced mushrooms, drained

1/4

teaspoon pepper

1

container (8 ounces) sour cream

6

cups hot cooked extra wide egg noodles 

Optional: 2 tsp. worchestershire sauce for an added kick

Directions

• 1 In 3 1/2- to 4 1/2-quart slow cooker, mix beef, onion, soups, mushrooms and pepper.
• 2 Cover and cook on low heat setting 8 to 10 hours or until beef is very tender.
• 3  Right before serving: Stir sour cream into beef mixture. Serve over prepared cooked noodles.

Source: Bettycrocker.com

Postive Parenting

Last year, Sunny was 18 months and really started testing her limits as well as mine. Being out of the teaching groove, I had forgotten what I had learned in my classes. I began to read up and enforce some of those things.

A principal asked me to make a video detailing my philosophy of education. It works with parenting just as much as it does for teaching students.  Even if you are not a teacher and have children from 1-18, the tips I share really are useful. My video which can be copied and pasted is:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hVIvwSA9wbU

I do realize everyone has their own philosophy of education or parenting, and that is fine, but you can never go wrong with positive reinforcement or a consistant reward system,whether you are teaching toddlers at home how to behave, or are a teacher of many students, or just want to know how to effectively parent.

Sometimes when I am out and about, I will see that well behaved two or three year old. Just sitting there perfectly.  Geez, why not my kid!

My kid has never sat in sacrament or really anywhere for that matter, not with a lot of work and effort on her parent's part, that is. She is stubborn and knows what she wants and how to get it. Often, that creates a scene, so our only choice is to take her out. That is exactly what she wants. She knows how to work the system, believe it or not.

For a long time I was lazy. I stopped reading books and forgot all my education class principals, and just started letting Sunny control most situations.

Big mistake!

I made a ton of wrong parenting choices and now I need to correct most of them to get her on that right path again.

At church, for instance, we don't hang in the hall anymore when she creates a scene in Sacrament meeting.

 I realize now  that by stepping out of sacrament and into the hall, opens a social avenue where she will try to initiate play with some other kid, and often run off. So now, we go into some small isolated room.

 She is that child who throws up when she cries too long or gets too upset.  My sister had a kid like that too.  Discipline is a tough one for these kids that throw up.

like I said above, I made this youtube video awhile back sharing my philosophy of education. This philosophy emphasizes the use of positive reinforcement to correct not so great behavior.

Here is what I have used on Sunny that has had some effect, that also worked on my past students.

She is not easy to reason with. She is very intelligent, but she doesn't like to be scolded and will often talk over one of us or begin to cry.

So, I decided to pass on the reasoning for now and use a consistant reward system as a way to get her to cooperate.  For instance, changing into her pajamas at night. She is often un-cooperative and will not change out of her day clothes.  Offering her 1 candy for cooperating and changing her clothes, is enough of a reward for her to do it. I try to use that whisper of a voice, be calm and talk with firmness, yet love.

Sometimes I get impatient in my voice and the sponge in her absorbs that.  Not a good idea at all.

I don't like to offer tons of candy, so I try to use stickers and other rewards as an incentive to motivate her to do what she is asked.

It works most of the time at home.  It kindof works elsewhere. I am working on more strategies at the moment.

So, as much as Sunny is cute and I love her dearly, she is a defiant little thing.  Whatever I want, she wants opposite. Typical for an almost three year old, I don't know.

I used to wonder why so many parents never disciplined their kids. Now I know. It's exhausting. I  get it. But using a consistent reward system, along with positive reinforcement has shown in studies to work almost 100% of the time. Consistency is key and something that always has room for improvement.

Here's to well behaved children.  I hope.

Egg Drop Soup

Growing up, I remember going to my favorite Chinese Restaurant, JJ Hunon located on Ancestor Square. We ate there so often, it was the best treat.  I wish the place was still there because they had the best chinese food I've ever had. I loved going to the restaurant for many reasons. The quiet music and atmosphere, the always formal dining table, a place mat that always had your horoscope, a hot tea kettle and tea cups served alongside  fried wontons w/sweet & sour sauce, egg roles and the most amazing egg drop soup that just warmed your soul. Then came my favorite main dish, which was always shrimp chow mein. So good and so inexpensive. $4.95 was a typical lunch cost. Why isn't that place still around??

With my pregnancy, I have been nauseous 24/7 everyday. I have lost quite a bit of weight because I can hardly eat. My appetite is huge, but it's very selective. I can't just eat anything like I used to and only crave certain things.  Certain things include, mac n cheese with jalepeno peppers, tacos and enchiladas, dutch oven pototoes, hashbrowns and eggs with salsa, sandwiches that always include mustard and pickles, sushi with lots of ginger, oranges, apples, and most fruit, sour gummi candy, and this egg drop soup. 
The problem is, sometimes when I give into my cravings, I regret it and feel even more sick. I can't go wrong with this soup though. 

I can't eat hardly any veggies or smell them for that matter. A few veggies like carrots, lettuce, cauliflower, being the exception. I can't stand chocolate right now, isn't that crazy?

Anyway, that hormones for ya. They do funny things.  Here is the recipe to this soup. It is perfect for upset stomachs, sore throats, you name it.

You’ll need:

• 4 cups chicken stock 
• 1 tsp. low sodium tamari or soy sauce
• 1/2 tsp. powdered ginger
• Pinch white pepper
• 1 1/2 T. cornstarch
• 4 eggs, slightly beaten
• 1 scallion, chopped 
• 1 tsp. garlic powder
• 1 T. finely grated carrot

Boil chicken stock. Add spices and tamari sauce, carrot and half the scallion,chopped. Take 1 c. hot broth and pour into cup. Add the cornstarch and whisk until combined. Add back to soup. Allow to simmer for about 5 min. Add 4 beaten eggs to soup and stir. Eat immediately. Top with more fresh scallion. I like to add a few chopped cucumber as well. Serve alongside saltine crackers if you prefer.

source: recipe adapted from thewoksoflife.com